my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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