Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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