I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
