before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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