I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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