Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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