I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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