i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
