Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
