I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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