When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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