that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
