i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
