I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
