Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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