so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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