I just cut my nipple shaving
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She even gives head with a lisp.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
