areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
