1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
