Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
