My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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