she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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