1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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