i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize