He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He literally asked permission to hit on me
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
