great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
