you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
