1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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