She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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