YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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