the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
