We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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