allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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