no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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