Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
