He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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