There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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