Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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