just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
