there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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