Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
