I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
