He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
