Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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