how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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