Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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