I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
