when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
