I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
