Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
