i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
