OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
