4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My life is pants optional.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
