as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
