I must be too annoying 4 u.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
