in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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