Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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