I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
