we have pet lesbian snakes
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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