so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
