If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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