we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
soo... how was my night?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
