oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
