Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize