Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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