guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
