I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I lost the right to judge tonight
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
